Many times I saw people criticize stay at home moms a lot. Even the woman itself. I don’t know why people do so.
I mean nowadays everyone appreciates girls for their study and for a job and anything they want to do.
You can see many reality shows, most of the candidates are girls whether you talk about dance shows or singing shows anything. Although I personally am not in favor of kids reality shows because that actually kill the kids’ natural behavior and many things I will discuss in detail in my next blog.
But appreciation in every field is actually something Positive, Right?
Right now my point is why stay at home mom criticized a lot in our society.
See I will only discuss my experiences and my surroundings. So first I would say something about myself. It’s a mixed feeling of pride and sadness.
I have always been in the toppers list… In school, I had 1st rank in every standard. After that become an Engineer, BTech in ECE specialization where I again was in the top 5 in my class.
After qualified GATE and I took admission in MTECH in Digital Communication, again I was in top 3. After having my daughter I qualified GATE exam again.
Along with that, I have so many prizes for my dancing at the school level and college level. At that time the scenario was different and I was not appreciated or motivated by my parents for dance.
That is why I continued my studies because I was really good there.
I joined in an Engineering college as an Assistant Professor. And I got married and became a mom to a girl.
As I really have no one who can take care of my daughters like My Mom or Dad or His(my husband’s) Mom or Dad. I don’t trust Daycares, The situation became like I left my job and started a new job i.e. Stay at home Mom. I really don’t know it’s a promotion or demotion.
But I know one thing that when I hold my daughter and look at her, I almost forget everything. She makes me busy all day long that I can’t even think of doing something else.
You know, people really make you feel like you are nothing and mostly and especially women itself.
The working moms whose kids are taken care of by their moms or mothers-in-law, always remind you, Do something for yourself. They say, Noone will think for you even not your daughter or husband.
And the stay at home moms says why don’t you do something dear, after such a higher education you just become a homemaker. They say We are better than you we have done graduation only, you higher studies are just getting into trash.
I don’t know why people start suggesting so much.
If you say you are a blogger or a YouTuber, that’s actually something you can do while doing your house works or taking care of the baby, they don’t understand that. They say Ok, but what you do. Even if you say, you earn, you have collaborated with brands and getting featured on many Websites.
So it is like that, I many times get disturbed, and feel like I am nothing. But then one day my mom makes me understand the real job and real happiness.
She said suppose you got a job in the very moment then what would be your reaction, you will feel happy only for a minute and the next feeling you would have is what would I do for my daughter. You know, that would be the biggest question.
You have no one who can take care of your baby and you know how Daycares are.
What would you do of that money when you suffer your child and husband and your home. Isn’t it your responsibility?
Why you had a child then.. you shouldn’t be.
The biggest responsibility I have is my daughter. In this technological era, everything is very easy to find and today’s kids are very fast.
You leave your baby in Daycare and then you will have sufferings and feeling of guilt for leaving her there and then you would feel like why I did so. Your husband also feels the same way. Then you will invite sleepless nights and diseases at home.
Because no one can take care of your child like you do. That’s the fact.
I understood her voice.
Life is not for sufferings, it is for happiness and enjoyments. Although there are so many bad and good times you have time to solve your problems and to celebrate your special happy events respectively.
feminism is not doing those things what a man can do or to prove anything to anyone, it is all about ‘the choice’
I respect the choices people made especially women, what they really want, whether it’s about adding surnames of hubby’s or wearing mangalsutra every time. It is all about choice, I respect those who do and also those who don’t.
One of my friends, always says like
Make your own rules for life and only feel sad when you don’t follow them only not by unfollowing others’.
So please do your jobs, know yourself first and judge yourself, question yourself only, and then come to others as you won’t get time when you start Focusing on yourself.
There are many women around me who really don’t know what they want because every time you talk to them they feel sad about something although they have everything.
I mean give some time for yourself and then you will realize what you were and what you are now. Just avoid phones and social media once and have some me time actually.
Make your rules whether you are a homemaker or a working wife. But stop suggesting others. Because you have the responsibility for removing all the patriarch of our society.
Grow your sons like they know how to cook and cooking and cleaning is not only for ladies or girls in all manners actually and raise your girls like they have to know bread earning is not only a job for boys it’s theirs also. They also can take care of their parents whenever needed.
Girls should not be bounded in Girlish things and Boys should not be bounded in boyish things.
That’s what a mom can do for a better future.
So I was very disturbed when people use to say all the rubbish things, see opinions can be generated and there are always a good way to communicate but if it can hurt someone that is not good, sorry.
Do your job only, but first know what is your job actually. Know yourself.
Please don’t bother yourself like I am not saying working moms are not good, because there are different financial conditions for different people.
There are many things a stay at home mom achieves while raising kids at home. I came with these achievements of a stay at home mom –
1. My daughter won’t see phones or any screen
In this technological era, I see almost every kid having a phone and if they don’t they take their parent’s phone and watch YouTube and all. I would say there must be a reason of parents not having Time for kids. I have seen women stay at home also talking to others and their kids are busy with the phone because they don’t want to get disturbed.
See this is a very bad habit, kids are developing nowadays. My daughter never sees my phone, you know why, because first I have time for my daughter and second I also avoid phone when she is with me.
She goes to school, I do all my social media, blogging and all during that time. When she gets back home, she sleeps for 3 hrs minimum, then again I get some time for doing all these things.
But when she is awake I left phone and I just enjoy her presence, her voice how she asks questions and all. At evening she herself open her book and starts telling me about the stories her school teacher tells.
So our kids can change only when first you change. They are just a copy cat. They want to do whatever you do. So, be responsible and make your own rule for your home and kids. Don’t follow anyone.
2. she eats home cooked food only
Again this is a great blunder we have in our society, junk food, bread jam, bread butter and cheese sandwiches and biscuits, cakes and many more. Every kid wants only these things in breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
You know, cancer patients are increasing day by day in India and especially kids are diagnosed with cancer. What we give them we give all the above-mentioned things, Right.
All these things have preservatives that are highly dangerous for a human body.
You just stop buying and then you will see how your kid starts enjoying roti-sabji or even ghee roti or ghee jaggery roti.
You won’t believe, my daughter has literally stopped everything and only eats roti sabji and ghee roti ghee rice dal rice and poha upma dosa idly kheer fruits green vegetables also. She loves spinach curry.
So start changing gradually and you will see these results. But you should give time and give your child home-cooked food that actually takes a lot of efforts and time.
I always follow Rujuta Diwekar guidelines like I lost weight and living a healthy life. I know How it feels like and that’s what I want for my family. Then I started working on healthy living for my daughter. If you start following, you will see the effect in your kids also.
3. She is curious
My daughter always asks questions, like she is 2.5 yrs old and she asks which Color is this and how cat says or dog says or sometimes unanswerable how spider says.
So I give all her answers like ok this and that until she gets satisfied. Because until she is fine with an answer she repeatedly asks and asks the same question.
She is in playgroup and her school is 1 km away so it takes almost 10- 15 minutes normal walk. But she takes 30 minutes while returning back from school, just because she has questions.
She sees all the painting on the roadside walls like flowers and birds and sun and girls and sceneries, she started asking pointing her fingers on the particular one and you have to give her answer otherwise she won’t take a single step. So it is like that.
I think I try my level best. I have a project of parenting that I have taken seriously. I have to complete this project on time and with 100% efficiency, lol.
Seriously the more you talk to your child the more they learn from you.
This is really very important thing for a home to run smoothly. I can say I give my 100%, doing all the house works without any maid or helper and Don’t go for dining out more frequently.
I mean it is like once a month. So, isn’t it considered as my contribution in savings? I won’t buy big brands and not like a person who wants an outing every time.
I urge to all the people to live and let live. Don’t give unnecessary Gyan or knowledge without asking.
Make your own rules and stick to it. Don’t follow others because the crowd or people around you are following. Know, judge and criticize and question yourself first.
Make our kids free from phones, junk foods, jams and all the instant things available in the market. Make homemade foods for a healthy and wealthy life. Because happiness demands good habits and good foods and positive thoughts.
PS – I would say this post is not for proving working moms wrong. This is a post, random thoughts of a highly educated stay at home mom. And it is only my experiences and nothing is related to others.