PUBERTY : How to talk to your child

  • April 25, 2018
  • By Quirky Woman Shraddha Tripathi

Puberty is something where every parent get confused about, how to talk ? Here we are to make you clear and confident.

Today, our social media and other information technology are so active amongst our young children that they get much more advanced information by the time they reach their puberty stage. 

They are aware of sex, relationships and about their reproductive organs much before their right age.

However, the information gathered through internet, television, and another information technology is not complete for the adolescents as it lacks human feel. 

Therefore, being a responsible parent, it is very important to talk about the puberty well the time before so that your child become fully aware and well informed.

What is the correct age to talk about Puberty with your child?

Ideally, you should initiate the discussion with your child about this natural phenomenon, i.e. puberty before he/she reaches this stage. Most of the girls get their first menstruation at the age of 12 to 13 years, whereas the boys experience the puberty at the age of 10 to 11 years. 

Therefore, it is good to talk to your child about puberty 2 years prior, as some children experience early puberty too and they should know about puberty ahead of time.

Nowadays, many schools do provide the sex education to their students, still, kids have many doubts and questions, which they feel, hesitate to discuss with their respective teachers. 

Therefore, it is a good idea to review those points and chapters with your child openly and freely. Psychologically speaking, this will add up confidence in their mind related to their body and its development.

How much information and awareness is good for a child?

Often, children feel insecurity and loneliness when they undergo the puberty stage. They have confusions and doubts about this physical development. 

Hence, according to the experts, the following information should be imparted to the children when they experience puberty:
For a Girl child
For a Boy child
She will experience faster body growth. This is known as ‘Growth Spurt’. She will become taller and will gain some weight proportionate to her height.
He will have a change in his voice. He will become tall much faster as compared to a girl’s growth spurt and will gain weight according to his body.
She will notice that her breasts are getting developed and fuller. Wearing a bra will be helpful to her to give proper support to her breasts.
He will feel that the chest is swelled slightly, which is temporary yet normal.
She will find some hairs are growing in her pubic area and underarms.
He will find the growth of pubic hairs, facial hairs and hairs in underarms too.
There will be a development in her genitals or private parts making them more functional.
He will notice that his testicles are getting bigger and the scrotum is getting red and thin.
White and clumpy vaginal discharge occurs when a girl hits the puberty. This discharge (if not being a yeast infection) is perfectly normal and indicates that she is going to have first menstruation in next six to eighteen months.
He may have ‘wet dreams’, or a ‘Nightfall’, which is an involuntary ejaculation of semen at the time of sleep.
All the above changes lead to the beginning of menstruation cycle. She will get her first periods.
He may experience some mood swings, low self-esteem and other emotional difficulties.

It is always good if you initiate the discussion openly and freely as possible. 

Let your child understand that this is an important topic to talk about without any hesitate. However, if you feel that there are some questions, which you are unable to answer, take the help of child’s doctor for better guidance and support.

About Akansha Bansal:
Lives with a notion “SIMPLE LIVING, HIGH THINKING” and have an optimistic approach towards life. Always eager to learn new things. She is founder of a Parenting website called "Budding Star".

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  1. When I was young, I remember my mom leaving a puberty for women book on my pillow. She didn't say anything, just left it there for me to read. I knew if I had questions I could ask her. I will always appreciate that! I felt like I could get answers without feeling embarrassed.

  2. I think it all depends on your relationship with your child. I was lucky enough that I had a great relationship with my mother, and we could talk freely about anything.

  3. Oh I am not looking forward to this stage in our daughters life. Luckily we have a ways to go! Thanks for the tips.

  4. This was really informative and makes having conversations about puberty much easier. I don't have any kids but I'll definitely keep this in mind for when I do.

  5. My kids are grown and I survived the talk about puberty with all three of them. My oldest daughter is having trouble knowing what to say with my grand kids though. I think I'll send her your post as a guide.

  6. As parents, we should always be there for our children to help them understand and counsel them. they should know that we will always be there for them in all stages of their life

  7. Very interesting. These are great tips and I will pass them on to my friends with kids.

  8. These are great tips! I don't have a kid, but I can imagine how strange it might feel to talk to a child about puberty. I agree that they should know about it before they go through it!

  9. Excellent post Shraddha, with a keen practical insight. I like the way you have put together the table, it is surely going to help many parents.

  10. I believe it will come that one way or another, we parents should talk to our teens about puberty. Adolescence is inevitable. Better that they hear it from us than from others except from experts on those fields.

  11. This is great! I think communication is so important when it comes to these things... xo, Suzanne

  12. This was something that was super easy for me. My mom was always open about how our bodies change and it made it easy to talk to my kids about it.

  13. This is such a helpful post! It is true that there has been such a rise over the years now of what kids find out before they should. Knowing how to handle these talks in this day in age is probably such a stress reliever for some parents, thanks for sharing!

  14. Such an important topic! As a nurse, I selfishly want to be the one who talks to my daughters about puberty, just to ensure that they get the correct information. We started a little earlier, around seven years old, just because they started asking questions.

  15. I am so glad that there wasn't so much social media and openness on TV when I was raising my children.

  16. This is a great resource! It's such a weird and crazy time for kids, and it's nice to know that we have some help on the parenting side! Thanks for sharing!

  17. Sadly, I did not have that talk with my kids. They're both grown now and I'm happy they are open to me about stuff. -Felicia

  18. These are wonderful tips! I especially think it is important to talk to your kids before they hit puberty so that they are not caught off guard and unaware of what might happen.

  19. Talking to your child about puberty can be so touchy. These are some really amazing tips to get the talk started.

  20. I'm going to try and do better then my mother did. She waited until I had had three periods before offering me a book about being a woman. My son will be getting a talk and a clear understanding that condoms.

  21. Great tips! I have 1 going through puberty and it can get rough. We try to explain things the best we can but it hasn't clicked for her yet.

  22. I have all this to come, my lad is nine and is getting more aware with each passing day. That said, I may well leave it to dad!